Netflix's "Spaceman" Spoiler Review:

Unraveling the Web: A Disorienting Journey through 'Skinny Human' and Giant Spiders"

credit: Netflix

It is a movie made to satisfy the creative needs of writers and directors, and nothing is interesting whatsoever. 

My problems with the movie: 

Shots

Visuals are so trippy; they made me dizzy. Nothing was shot normally; every important scene is either upside down or distorted. 

Only the space scenes are tolerable. My head hurt so bad after watching the movie, and I'm writing immediately after completion because I may forget the pain it caused. 

Concept- Movies are either made to entertain or educate, but this movie does neither.

 The concept is so immature it totally misses the point, and it offers nothing in terms of education. 

What is the purpose of his journey? Is it for change? To be a better human? If yes, why don't we start with his negatives, establish the kind of person he is! And give an arc of total redemption. 

Is this a high concept movie? Then why does the giant spider keep calling him skinny human, and yet it has a name? Why doesn't he freak out when he first sees the giant spider? 

If you replace space with isolation and made the movie, it doesn't make a difference, so where is the concept? 

Relationships: 

If the story started with the relationships between Jakub and Lenka, it would have made more sense.

 If we got to experience their relationship, ups and downs, trusts and betrayals, we would be more invested in his pain or his suffering in isolation.

 Instead, we are introduced to a man who is already near Jupiter in 6 months of isolation, and we get flashes of their relationship projected with distortion. 

Now you want me to feel the suffering of Jakub? The relationship between the giant spider and Jakub is so strange, and it becomes weird when they care for each other. 

Why does he keep calling him skinny human? If he's not bothered to ask his name, why do I believe that they cared for each other? Why doesn't he freak out when he sees a giant spider? And why doesn't he ask enough questions to understand its existence? 

Their relationship is so artificial; it serves the plot and nothing more. 

There are no emotions, they share a conversation, nothing happens between them, but yet Jakub walks out of the ship to save a spider, and that's just shitty writing.

 If there was enough drama, relationship, or even heartfelt conversations where they get connected, I would have believed, but not in this movie. 

The big plot twist of the giant spider's name, Hanus, passed right in front of me, and I cared very little at that point. 

I'm just waiting for the end. 

Their hug and his sacrifice are so forced; it just serves the plot but fails to bring any emotions.

 Dialogues: 

In a concept-oriented movie, the dialogues play a major role in conveying the narrative because there is nothing much to do, but here it failed so badly. 

The giant spider keeps calling him skinny human, and it's not a joke. No relationship between husband and wife was established, yet we need to feel their departure. 

The conversation between spider and human can be described as a conversation between two lost strangers, but nothing interesting. 

"Hanus you can't leave me, you're helping and I'm listening! "- actual dialogue. 

This may not be the section, but why does the spider hang in the toilet? Does it enjoy the peanut butter? If yes, then why? What relationship is the writer expected to have between human and spider? I'm lost. 

Overall: 

I can crap on this movie for 2 more hours for wasting my 2 hours, but it is not worth it. 

The last resort in saving the relationship is an astronaut spacewalking with peanut butter. 

If someone says that this is a high-concept movie and it is not for everyone, let me remind them that this movie is not for anyone. 

It doesn't grow on you; you will get extremely dizzy by the visuals, irritated by the relationships, and bored by the concept.

 This is not worth anybody's time."